I was drifting, contentedly in the Ionian last year
When everything suddenly became very clear
In 12 months I’d reach my half century
I knew just where I would want to be
It just didn’t get any better than this
Deep blue sea, blue skies, it was simply pure bliss
So right then I began to hatch a plan
To return next year with my man
And perhaps some friends would come and play
And help me celebrate by big day

To begin with the response was a little bit slow
But then the idea began to grow
A little email from Tommy and Sue
Saying sure, we’d like to come with you
And the flotilla ball began to roll
This lone little fish became a whole shoal
Once a couple of us had actually booked
Others one by one were eventually hooked
Till six boats and twelve very willing crew
Were ready to have a bit of a do

Experience levels they did vary
Take that of Pat and Graham Werry
Boats they love, but poor Pat pales
When she learns that this one has two great sails!
Jackie’s a pro and Geoff couldn’t be keener
But then I get a call from Dena
My old school friend, who’s so demure
Is thinking of coming, but she’s not sure
She’s never spent more than a day on a boat
The chances of loving it are remote
But we do go back a very long way
And in the end loyalty wins the day
Thus twelve motley crew all up for some sport
All wend their way to Gatwick airport
The start of our holiday’s frightfully early
It makes the crew fractious, a little bit surly
Then once the aircraft’s safely down
We make our way to Levkas Town
Which from Preveza is not very far
They drop us off outside a bar

And the thought of an ice-cold Mythos beer
Definitely brings a little cheer
One by one we’re introduced to our yacht
For some, 36ft is a lot
But not for Pat, who’s used to Spruce Goose
She saw Patmos and wanted a noose
For the neck of whoever’d persuaded her to roam
She wanted to turn and flee back home
I though I may too have heard some sobbing
From the yacht of Trish and Robin

He might have been a yacht promoter
If Lonaki had had a second motor!
Though Dena’s Kalamos was no liner
Its stripy fabric suited our designer
Pleasing Tommy and Sue was a breeze
They just asked for the same boat as last year, please
Which left yacht Seafarer for Martin and me
We pretended we owned the whole company
Next morning, we’re off to our very first briefing
We learn about safety and roller reefing

And then we’re let loose, off to Little Vathi
Us six, Lady Dafne and Peter and Kathy
Whose boat name we never did get to hear
But we heard her transmissions loud and clear
Three other boats we hadn’t yet met
And of course our dear lead boat with John and Colette
Stern to mooring, lines ready, now let down the anchor
Left a bit right, John yells without rancour
A group meal and to bed, that’s quite enough fun
The night it is stormy, so much for Greek sun

Tuesday’s forecast, Force 4, or maybe less
From the North, East or West, it’s anyone’s guess
Then we’re off once again, this time to Sivota
We get the sails out coz there’s quite a lotta
Breeze, and our Graham uses winds prevailing
To eschew the old engine and get stuck into sailing
There’s nothing like punch to break the ice
And Colette’s rum concoction was awfully nice
We all start to relax, we’re really quite chilled
By the time all our glasses are refilled

On Wednesday morning I awoke
And a thought dawned that made me choke
When I went to bed I was feeling fine
And I swear I was only forty-nine
But overnight something happened to me
When I opened m eyes I had turned fifty!
A more special day I could not have had
I cannot tell you all just how glad
I was that you all came all this way
To help make so memorable my special day!

The cards and presents began to arrive
Oh, it felt good to be alive
A beautiful necklace from my friend Sue
A wonderful necklace from Dena too
From Pat, a necklace a wonderful surprise
My neck was filling before our eyes
A necklace from Myra, another from Martin
By now my neck muscles are really smarting
Martin’s bought me two more and there’s two from my mum
I’ve a neck full of bling, Ali G and then some

We’re going nowhere as the wind is too high
But the day was a dream, I could almost cry
Breakfast and lunch, cocktails and a dinner
My 50th birthday was such a winner
Then off to Fiskardo, we’re making a raft
And head into town in our own little craft
A first for Sue Foster, not her favourite pursuit
But the photos in the dinghy are cute
On Friday, John tells us the sailing is free
But alone is a scary place to be

He’s let us off our little tether
But we all got to Spartahori together
And arrive almost one and all
Just as there hits an almighty squall
A frantic half hour then ensued
We hoped Seafarer would not get sued
For damage, but happily in spite of the swell
All came in safely and all were well
Well apart from Geoff’s back, Trevor’s toe and Sue’s head
And Graham’s finger, which kind of bled

Safely round in Vathi were Robin and Trish
So they missed the saga of Martin’s fish
In vain he’d tried to bag a catch
But still he’d had not a snatch
The taverna owner in front of his eyes
Had speared a snapper you could hear Martin’s cries
When Geoff called him a loser and offered a sardine
Martin’s bottom lip trembled, they were all so mean
He’d show them, and went to get his rod
He returned with a fish, the silly…..cod!

Now the week is nigh over, the fleet has returned
I’m sure there’ve been loads of lessons learned
We’ve all had so much fun but excuse my cheek
Think this next one will be a quieter week!
If you hated it sorry, but if you had fun
P’raps we’ll do it again when I’m fifty-one!!

©Jo Ross

June 2009