Helen, we don’t know each other well
But you’re a lovely girl, I can tell
You’ve not yet seen a lot of me
But suddenly we are family
I may have left it a little late
Now the horse has bolted, to shut the gate
But I thought I’d pass on as best I can
Some little known facts about your man
And the family you’re now part of too
Since that moment when you said,”I do”
Though he was his parents pride and joy
The young Richard was a ‘cheeky’ boy
A little too bright for his years
He knew how to turn on the tears
Then just as quick the winning smile
His older relatives to beguile
He was mischievous but to those who thought he
Might have been a little naughty
He had an answer; he’d heard his mum say
It was orange juice that made him that way
True, his hyperactivity had medical grounding
But it really was quite astounding
That one so young could compute the prognosis
And come up with his own diagnosis
It should have been an early indication
Of his ultimate vocation
His mother’s maiden name held the clue
To what he ultimately would do
Doctors, how proud they all would be
That at last one of them would become a GP!
The little rascal’s sure done well
A lovely young man now as all can tell
And in Helen he’s really met his match
Yes both have bagged their perfect catch
But Helen, it’s not just the man you marry
It’s his whole, extended family you’ll carry
Did you realise just what you’d be getting?
Just a few hours in are you regretting
Becoming part of the family Cassell?
I hope it won’t prove too much hassle
There’s Susan, your new mother-in-law
A lovely lady, that’s for sure
But did you know her party trick
Is in being very sick?
She loves the fairground but with the best will
The whirling rides do make her ill
Father-in-law, we’ll call him Dave
Is a guy who likes a rave
But although he likes a good party
He’s not as young as he used to be
He still wants to go to town
And thinks he likes to get on down
But now he’s not actually such a young pup
The problem he has is getting back up
Your new husband’s a man like no other
But, I’m afraid, he has a brother
Your new brother-in-law, I’ll call him Sime
But only coz it fits my rhyme
A lovely boy, as a rule
As long as you’re not back at school
Imagine having him as your teacher
D’you think his sense of humour would reach yer?
Would you have got your degree
With a teacher such as he?
It doesn’t end there, there’s uncle Al
I’m sure he’ll be a lovely pal
A weird sense of humour but he’s not to blame he
At least made Sara, Zoe and Aimee
There’s aunts, uncles, cousins galore
Monty, Sheila, Barbara and loads more
Nice people, Helen, don’t get in a tizz
But they have their idiosyncrasies
Now I don’t mean to put you off
The man you’ve married is a toff
And I’m sure you’ll be happy as can be
But you didn’t marry his family
So if you find it all gets too much
Just call me, I can put you in touch,
With a good lawyer, hey, there’s some in the room
I believe they’re related to your groom
If the family on you starts to grate
You could from them just separate
But we hope you won’t, coz we’re all delighted
That on this family you’ve alighted
So I think, what I’m trying to say
Is we’re all so proud to share your day
You’re so well suited, it’s plain to see
We know you’ll be happy as can be
Richard, Helen, the lovely new man and wife
May we all wish you both a wonderful life!

©Joanne Ross

8th August 2009